Husband as a Spiritual Mentor

The husband is like a spiritual mentor
The spiritual mentor (Shaykh) attends to the spiritual enhancement of the mureed (disciple). However, a normal spiritual mentor who accepts bay’t is insufficient to attend to the spiritual needs of the woman. The spiritual mentor is not available to them at all times.

They require a spiritual mentor of the house, the husband. This type of spiritual mentor, i.e. the husband, is more beneficial to her than the other categories of spiritual mentors. And his status is also more superior than the others.

What a nice spiritual mentor this household spiritual mentor is. Apart from attending to your Deeni requirements, he also provides food etc. for you. He takes the responsibility of both the Deen as well as the dunyaa. These characteristics wouldn’t be found in a normal spiritual mentor. There is no worldly benefit to be derived from him. In fact, offerings (of gifts etc.) have to be made over to (some of) them.

Also, she wont be able to derive as much Deeni benefit from him as she would derive from her husband. A normal spiritual mentor will only be able to guide you when you enquire about something or whenever you happen to go to him. This might come about probably once in many years. Women in particular will hardly end up meeting their spiritual mentor. The husband on the other hand is always with them. He will be able to monitor every deed.

This is why I maintain that the spiritual mentor of the Ba’yt (house) is more superior than the spiritual mentor Bay’t.
[A Gift to the Husband & Wife by Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi]

In this day and age the above gives a lot of food for thought for both males and females. The importance of deeni rights owed to women are commonly neglected by menfolk, or they are not even given due importance by the woman.

May Allah swt give us the ability to rectify ourselves of this incorrect thought and implement into our lives practically the important message that Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi highlights in the above extract, Ameen.


7 Responses

  1. Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,

    Jazakallahu khair for that amazing post…I’ve always thought that the husband shold be the spiritual mentor of the household, it makes so much sense.. but unfortunately it can b hard to come across individulas in this day and age who think like that and are willing to support their wives spiritually in that manner.

    Ameen to the duas.

    Wassalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah

  2. Mashallah, what an amazing post.
    Keep it Up
    Inshhalh we will be able to spread the message of Islam and Peace together.

  3. Salams
    Jazakallah for that comment.
    Sister Mujahidah, I think you’re right, these days finding a marriage partner in general seems some what difficult, people see to get scared when your deen is more than just praying 5 times a day. A well respected Shaykh mentioned once that some cultures these days place a ceiling on the level of deen they adopt themselves and would like for others… what a great disservice they do to themselves and the cause of Islam.

    May Allah make it easy for all those seeking marriage parners.

  4. Assalaamu alaikum marriage is such a sacred ritual islamicaly but in todays world especialy in muslim cultures it has become business point is at 20 something muslim umarried female i really wish there are those islamic shykhs out there. Salam

  5. Salaam alaykum wr wb,
    Nice posting!
    I agree that marriage is important in Islam,(It’s a sunna).The beauty of marriage is to start holding hands when you are young couple,And more beautiful thing is to still be holding hands when you are both old and finshing the journey together on that path.Their hands are gnarled,but still clasped;their faces are seamed,but still radiant,their hearts are physically bowed and tired,but still strong with love and devotion for one another.
    Wish you well

  6. As salam alaikum,
    with the comment that many men do not forfill their islamic duties towards their wife, we should be asking ourselfs why? Probably because they never saw their own father forfilling their duties for their mothers, probably because there was no positive role modle from thier fathers, probably because the father was too busy with the dunya activities of making money etc rather than forfilling the duties needed of him. This is a bitter cycle, if we dont stop this silly attitude of love of dunya and not love of akhira, our children will be worse off than we are at present.
    AsghfirAllah alatheem. what a shame it is on us that we dont forfill our duties as muslims within this ummah.

  7. thank you for this necessary article.

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