Recipe for a successful marriage by Mufti Ebrahim Desai (db)

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,

I pray that you are all i the best of health and imaan.Ameen.

It’s been a while since I have posted here, came across this article and thought I’d share it with you.

Without further a do here goes Inshallah….

“Our Lord! Grant that our spouses and our offspring be a comfort to our eyes, and give us the grace to lead those who are conscious of You” (Furqaan 74).

Q: Every human being by nature has an instinct to dispute. This instinct becomes more manifest between the husband and wife, thus leading to marital disputes. How can this instinct be controlled?

A. Consider the following ten points to control the instinct of dispute and maintain a happy marriage.

1. Fear Allah: It was the noble practice of Nabi (SAW) to conscientise the spouses about the fear for Allah before performing a Nikah by reciting the verses (Nisa v14, Ahzab v69, Aali-Imraan v101) from the Quraan. All the verses are common in the message of Taqwa (fear of Allah). The spouses will be first committed to Allah before being committed to their partner. There can be no doubt in the success of a marriage governed by the fear of Allah.

2. Never be angry at the same time: Anger is the root cause for all marital disputes. One Sahabi came to Rasulullah (SAW) and sought some advice. Rasulullah (SAW) replied, control your anger. The same advice was rendered three times. (Mishkaat pg.433; HM Saeed)

3. If one has to win an argument, let it be the other: Nabi (SAW) said: “Whoever discards an argument despite being correct shall earn a palace in the centre of Jannah. (Ibid pg.412)

4. Never shout at each other unless the house is on fire: Luqman (AS) while offering advice to his son said: ” and lower your voice for verily the most disliked voice is that of a donkey”. (Surah Luqman v19)

5. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly: Rasulullah (SAW) said, ‘A Mu’ min is a mirror for a Mu’min.’ (Abu Dawud vol.2 pg.325; Imdadiyah) Advise with dignity and silently.

6. Never bring up mistakes of the past: Nabi (SAW) said: “Whoever conceals the faults of others, Allah shall conceal his faults on the day of Qiyaamah.” (Mishkaat pg.429; HM Saeed)

7. Neglect the whole world rather than your marriage partner:Nabi (SAW) confirmed the advice of Salman to Abu-Darda [RA] for neglecting his wife. “Verily there is a right of your wife over you.” (Nasai Hadith2391)

8. Never sleep with an argument unsettled: Abu Bakr [RA] resolved his dispute with his wife over-feeding the guests before going to bed. (Bukhari Hadith 602)

9. At least, once everyday, express your gratitude to your partner: Nabi [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] said, ‘Whoever does not show gratitude to the people has not shown gratitude to Allah.’ (Abu Dawud pg.662; Karachi)

10. When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness: Nabi [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] said, ‘All the sons of Aadam commit error, and the best of those who err are those who seek forgiveness.’ (Tirmidhi Hadith 2499)


10 Responses

  1. Jazakallah for sharing that beautiful post.
    It was no surprise to see Taqwa at the top of the list, and mashallah all the points are very well communicated.
    May Allah swt give us the ability to act upon it, Ameen.

  2. subanallah i hope and pray that this guidance is read by and followed by all partners may allah give us the tofiq ameen.

  3. Jazakallah for the advice, no doubt it will be handy in my near future inshallah!

  4. Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,

    Jazakallah khair for the comments. May Allah Ta’ala accept our efforts and allow us to follow the sunnah of His beloved nabi sallalahu alyhi wasallam, whenever we emabrk on this imoratant journey.Ameen.

    Duas needed


  5. Assalamu alaikum,

    Thank you for your guidance and sharing beautiful thoughts and i pray to allah to show us the right path to follow throughout our life.

  6. Assalam O Alaikum,

    I wanna know who sing the anasheed at the link

    we have many at

    so please point me out the right 1.


  7. Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah, may Allah help us follow his deen to the best of our abilility and bliss all those who contribute to the deen of allah. Please make dua Allah make my upcoming marriage successful.Ameen
    Assalamu alaikum

  8. Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullah..
    Mashallah it was A very big help for everyone,, Thank you for sharing this to everyone… Jazakumullah khairan

  9. Assalamu alaikum,
    Jazakallah for the beautiful advice. my husband always has arrguments with me always, for no reason. he thinks he has only the rite not me. he doesnt pray at all, i give him lots of beautiful advise. but he never lisens. it’s been a year we r married but we dont live toghter. cuz he cant come where i live and i cant go where he lives. plzz bro and sis im having really hard time and i have 4 month baby, plzz pray for us to have good life. is any1 have good dua to read for husband and wife, to live happy and dont have arrguments. Assalamu alaikum
    p.s plzzz bro and sis im waithing for replys

  10. May Allah replenish your knowledge. This piece is indeed a tonic for Islamic marital life.

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